You’ve hit midlife, and suddenly, your weight feels more like an issue than ever before. The scale is creeping up, your clothes feel tighter, and the usual diet tricks just aren’t working anymore. It’s a familiar story, but focusing solely on weight loss as your primary goal might be setting you up for failure. Here’s why.
Many of my clients come to me with the belief that losing weight will solve all their problems. It’s easy to think that shedding kilos will lead to a better life, more confidence, and improved health. But here’s a different perspective—think of a pimple. What happens when you squeeze a pimple? It turns red, becomes painful, and often, it comes back worse than before. The act of squeezing doesn’t address the root cause; it only aggravates the problem.
Weight is much like that pimple. The more you obsess over it, the worse the issue becomes. Focusing exclusively on weight as the problem, rather than addressing the underlying causes, won’t bring lasting change. For many women, especially as they approach perimenopause, weight becomes more difficult to manage, and the diets that used to work don’t seem to help anymore. It’s time to stop squeezing the pimple and look deeper.
The Core of the Issue
So, what’s really going on? Just like with pimples, we need to look at the root causes. What’s causing this imbalance with your weight? Historically, women have relied on dieting as the solution, but the problem-solving methods have been poor. Our grandmothers were on cabbage soup diets, our mothers tried Weight Watchers, and we’ve cycled through keto, fasting, and countless others. Each generation tries a new version of the same old diet culture. But diets don’t work in the long term because they don’t address the core issues behind weight gain, particularly in midlife.
And it’s not just about food. Many women in midlife have accumulated unmet needs. For decades, women have been nurturers, dedicated to others—children, partners, careers—often putting their own needs on hold. By the time women reach midlife, they’re finally asking, “What about me?” It’s a crucial question, and the answer isn’t found in another diet plan.
This stage of life is about re-evaluating what you truly need and want. With children more independent, the question shifts: “What is life about for me now?” This is where midlife becomes a turning point. It’s no longer about attracting a partner to procreate, sneaking chocolate behind the pantry door or obsessing over calorie counts—it’s about tuning into your own needs, desires, and priorities.
The Hidden Impact of Years of Dieting
Years of calorie-cutting, carb-restricting, and “dieting” have left many women malnourished, fatigued, and dealing with escalating health issues. When you’ve spent years stressed, busy, and neglecting proper nutrition, your body becomes depleted. You may find yourself constantly tired, running on empty, and struggling with medical conditions you didn’t have in your younger years.
But the impact isn’t just physical. Over time, repeated dieting ingrains harmful patterns of thinking. Perfectionism creeps in, alongside all-or-nothing approaches to food and life. You may feel like you’re constantly failing, never happy with your body no matter your weight. The guilt of not being present with your kids because you’re tired, hungry, and irritable becomes a familiar companion.
These mental and emotional patterns lead to erosion in self-confidence. You start to believe that no matter what you do, you’ll never get out of this cycle. Your lifestyle habits worsen, emotional regulation becomes harder, and stress piles up. Before long, you find yourself in a place where you don’t just lack the knowledge to improve your eating and habits—you lack the belief that it’s even possible.
Breaking the Cycle
So how do you break free from this cycle? It starts with shifting your focus. Stop squeezing the pimple—stop making weight loss the only measure of success. Instead, look at the bigger picture. It’s about tuning into your body, addressing unmet needs, getting your nutrition balanced and making lasting changes to your lifestyle that go beyond the scale.
Midlife is a journey, and it’s an opportunity to reclaim yourself. By focusing on nourishing your body, tuning into your emotional and mental health, and creating sustainable habits, you can find balance again. Life really can “begin at 40”—not through dieting or squeezing away the weight, but through deeper self-care and understanding.
This isn’t about perfection or quick fixes. It’s about taking the time to listen to your body and mind, recognising the small wins, and building a foundation of habits that serve you for the long haul. Success comes when you stop focusing on just the weight and start focusing on you.
Midlife is your chance to hit reset, tune into what you really need, and let go of the patterns that have been holding you back. It’s time to stop squeezing the pimple and address the real issues underneath.
If you’re ready to approach health holistically and find balance, book a free call.